The Nightly Homework Struggle: Counting Down the Days

I’ll admit it, I’ve been really stressed lately: things at home have been unusually busy, I’ve taken on a lot more work and my husband’s been traveling more than normal. 

All of this means my plate is full, my patience level is low and everyone in my house is feeling an added pressure in one way or another. Then I look at the calendar. It’s May 3 and there’s only eight-and-a-half weeks left in the school calendar! That’s the good news… and the bad news. 

So there are approximately 42 more nights of homework left—or at least 26 more nights of stand-offs and arguments between my daughter and me. We fight about homework—a lot. (Pretty much every other day.) So the thought of all of those nights of struggling is in itself exhausting.

It’s a classic power struggle the way only a nine-year-old (soon to be 10) can pull off. When I push her, she pushes back. When she pushes back, I push back harder. Not physically pushing, of course; this is all a mental game, but painful nonetheless. The arguments between the two of us over six pages of homework a night are ridiculous, and my lines generally sound something like this:

• “We go through the same thing every night.”
• “We spend more time arguing about doing it than actually doing it.”
• “If you do it now, you don’t have to worry about it later.”
• “I mean it; you need to do it now.”
• “If you don’t do it now, you won’t go to the barn tomorrow!”
• “If you don’t do it now, you’ll never ride a horse again.”
• “If you don’t do it now, you’ll never have any fun in your entire life again, ever.”

(Note the downward spiral of a parent losing all control. I’m not proud of it, but it happens!)

The good thing is that she’s an A/B student, and doesn’t have trouble actually doing her homework. It’s just getting her to do it that causes the problem. There are usually only a few things that need to be corrected when she’s done, but the suffering for all those our house—and those within a mile radius who could possibly hear me screaming—is sometimes too much to bear.

While I’m excited that summer seems to be right around the corner, and I can feel it in the air, it still seems to be so far away. The numbers don’t lie – there’s a lot of homework left to do between now and those “lazy days.” But there’s always hope. Maybe the teachers will lighten up a bit come June or after the State tests are over next week.  Maybe she’ll finally learn the lesson of how good it feels to get your homework done early. Maybe the dog will actually eat her homework, so we’d have a real excuse not to do it.  

But seriously, I know I’m lucky, and there are many parents who have it a lot harder than me. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is for the kids that really have issues with the work because it’s hard for them. I know I should count my blessings, but in reality, I’m just counting down the days—and that would be 42. 

Do you have the same issues with your kids and homework? Any pointers or tips you’d like to share? I need all the help I can get.