I'm on a crazy diet
And you're invited to try it.
It isn't based on carbo-
hydrates, though they worked for Garbo,
Or grapefruit or water or yogurt,
All favored by Humphrey Bogurt.
No, this regimen leans on idioms
(You may have seen the videoms)
Cultivated at Bellevue
Where patients with a swell view
Came up with the three-pronged scheme
That works like a charm, like a dream.
The crazy diet--O hosannas!--
Is nuts, crackers, bananas,
Which you sprinkle on each bite
With a preemptive right.
Nuts, crackers, bananas--
Our language is quick to ordain
All three of them as insane.
