'It Was Love At First Sight': LI Couple Celebrates 70 Years

HAMPTON BAYS, NY — After facing the most painful of losses during the pandemic, a Hampton Bays family is coming together soon to celebrate a joyful milestone – their beloved parents' 70th wedding anniversary.

In 2020, the Carroll family was devastated when John, the oldest son of John and Florence, died after battling the coronavirus. Despite their grief at not being able to be with him during his last moments due to pandemic restrictions, the family was grateful when a caring nurse reached out to tell them that he had not died alone — she was holding his hand.

But now, after many dark days of mourning, the Carroll family will come together next week to celebrate a moment of joy as their parents John Joseph Carroll and Florence Elizabeth Carroll mark 70 years of love and marriage.

According to Jim Carroll, another of the couple's five children, his mother was born on March 6, 1929 and his father on October 8 of the same year.

"One night at the Hollywood Pavilion on Lake Ronkonkoma in July, 1950, my mother caught Dad's eye. He watched five young men ask Mom to dance. She declined them all. Dad approached her and asked her to dance, she accepted — and the rest, they say, is history. Dad joined the U.S. Army in January 1951, then took a leave after basic training to marry his sweetheart."

The lovebirds were married on August 11, 1951 on "the hottest day on record" at St. Sylvester RC Church in Medford; a reception followed at John's home in Ozone Park, Queens, his son said.

"Dad's service in the Army ended on January 13, 1953 and they settled into married life," he said.

Their first child, John, was born in October, 1954, and his death on March 27, 2020 of the coronavirus was an unthinkable loss, he said.

"The rest of the kids followed, Kathy, James, Christopher, and Eileen. All the children married wonderful spouses and produced 13 children and three great-grandchildren, he said."

His mother, Jim said has always been "the quintessential housewife and mother. Dad worked for 40 years for New York Telephone before retiring. The family moved from Wantagh to Hampton Bays in 1981 and Dad retired in 1988. Dad was an avid outdoorsman, hunting upstate and fishing the local waters of eastern Long Island."

This anniversary is especially important, Jim, who lives in Florida, said. His father has been facing serious health challenges. "He's always said, 'I just want to make it to my 70th,'" he said.

Growing up, Jim said he and his siblings were everything to their parents. "My parents never took a vacation apart from us children; we were always included," he said.

He and his siblings share rich memories of camping, state parks, and historic sites, of their dad's love for fishing, and of the family boat. "My dad has some trophy fish he's very proud of. He's got a 15-pound, 16-ounce fluke and a 55-pound striped bass."

His father was also an avid hunter, Jim said. "But mostly, what he's proud of is his family," he said. Even now, he said his father still sits out on his deck.

Their family memories are filled with days spent on the beach, on the water — and his parents instilled a deep appreciation of the natural world around their children. "We wanted a pool and our father said, 'You've got the Atlantic Ocean right there.'"

His brother's death hit his parents especially hard, Jim said. Losing a child is something no parents should have to bear —but their love sustained them through the darkest of times, he said.

His parents, Jim said, taught him the key to a happy marriage. "What we all took away from it is we have to listen to one another, to try and compromise. Compromise is everything. Every marriage is a give-and-take."

His family, Jim and his siblings agree, is very close. "Family is everything," he said. "Losing John was really a heartbreak to every one of us."

His own marriage reflects those deep family values, Jim said. He and his wife first met when they were 5 or 6; their families were friends, Jim said; together they camped at Wildwood, in Montauk. Later, the two reunited and had a daughter and carried on the family traditions, camping and savoring the outdoors.

The anniversary gathering will be especially meaningful, Jim said. During the pandemic, he said: "We were separated for so long. We've had celebration milestones, wedding anniversaries before, but this one, we realize now that anything can happen."

And so relatives are coming from near and far, including some cousins who haven't been reunited in more than 30 years.

His parents taught their children the one lesson that has carried them through the good days and bad: "Family is everything," Jim said.

Reflecting on his landmark anniversary, John and Florence speak about the keys to sustaining a lifelong love. "There are a couple of things you have to learn. The first is to say, 'Yes, dear,'" John said. "And the other one is I'm sorry.' That helps."

He added, laughing, "Also, we like each other."

From the moment he first saw his wife at that dance so many years ago, John said he was struck by how attractive she was. "She's still attractive," he said.

Echoing his son's words, John spoke of the deep ties that connect them all. "Family is very, very important," he said. "Last year, a terrible thing happened to us. We lost our son."

The loss still colors everything; his wife still cries, he said. "But you have to go on," he said. "You just have to."

Despite the pain of loss, their shared life has been wonderful, John said. "It wasn't always easy. We had some money problems at times and we had to be careful — but we survived."

The best move his family ever made was to Hampton Bays, 40 years ago, John said, recalling his love of hunting in North Sea, camping in Montauk — where he caught oysters and fried them up for dinner — and fishing on the East End. Florence, he said, made beach plum jam.

Florence also remembered camping trips upstate to Lake George. "I'd cook pancakes in the morning and there was one place where we used to go swimming before breakfast," John said. "Those were wonderful days."

His wife is the perfect mate, John said, "Because she accepts the words, 'I'm sorry.'"

Florence thanked her children for taking such good care of their parents. "I've been blessed to have such a beautiful family," she said. "Family is everything, the most important. Family comes first."

Remembering when she first saw her husband, Florence said he was "such a very, very nice, all- around guy. Very thoughtful. It was love at first sight."

The couple's daughter Kathy Andrianos said the celebration next week will be special. "It's their 70th. Not many people live that long, much less are married that long." She also noted the closeness she shares with her loving family.

"My parents taught me that no marriage is ever easy," their daughter Eileen Wienclawski said. "There are bumps along the road to be expected. However, they could not stress enough that there is nothing more important than family — and to never give up."

Reflecting on the milestone, Florence added: "I can't believe it. The years have gone by so fast."

A family celebration of the Carrolls' "loves and lives" will take place on August 14 from noon to 3 p.m. at 78 Foster Restaurant & Bar in Hampton Bays. The restaurant will open after 3 p.m. to all others that would like to wish the Carrolls well, their son Jim said.