Graduates: Don't Forget Those Thank You Notes

It isn't optional that graduates write thank you notes.  It isn't old-fashioned to hand-write a sincere thank you note.  And, it really isn't as difficult as one might think to write a couple of lines of thanks.  Perhaps between kindergarten graduation and the tenth birthday party, some children begin to loathe writing thank you notes.  Maybe a rightly persistent mother hounded them until the task was started and finished--and finished neatly, grammatically correct, sincerely, and at least timely.  Writing thoughtful notes doesn't have to be daunting.  It is simply an authentic expression of thankfulness and acknowledgement toward those who only wish to feel a little appreciated for their generosity.

Foregoing allusions as to why there seems to be an apathetic attitude of youth toward writing thank you notes (the scientific research on the topic of youth and gratitude makes me sad), the following advice may help the graduate 'ink-out' an appropriate and timely note of thanks:

*Lest you forget someone, have a simple page booklet/register handy for recording the giver's name and description of gift.  You can use your phone, ipod, or other electronic hand-held device for the same task.

*Consider reasons for writing a thank you note.  You've received a gift--object, cash (paper or gift card), time, or effort.  Maybe someone helped host or serve at your graduation party; you met a new acquaintance who helped land you a job interview; teachers who made positive and lasting impressions on you.

*Choose note cards that are appropriate for the occasion.  I suggest avoiding the preprinted fancy script 'Thank You' in gold or silver.  They are too formal and impersonal.

*Each thank you note should be written as soon as possible.  Hand-write each note and mail within a week.  Upon returning from a graduation trip, write the notes as quickly as you can.  It should only take two to three minutes per note to write, stuff & address the envelope, and affix stamp.

*Use a quality writing instrument in black or blue ink.*Use best penmanship.  No obvious corrections.  Start over if you must to present finest effort.

*What to write?  Each note should consist of four lines (excluding greeting & closing/signature lines).  Use present perfect tense (as if it is happening in the moment):  

   Lines 1, 2, & 4 relate to the gift.  They name the gift, tell why you like it or how you will use it, and final expression of thanks.  Line 3 mentions something personal.  This line reveals to the giver that she/he means more to you than just being a donor of treasure!

FOR EXAMPLE: 

 Dear Aunt Kim (always make sure name is spelled correctly),    

     Thank you for the  gracious supply of stationery and pens.  I will certainly use them while away at college.  You and I must spend some time together before I leave in August.  Again, thanks so much! 

                                                           Love,

                                                           Mindy

**Never mention the amount of cash or value of a gift card.  You may write, Thank you for your generosity.  Or, If the amount seems great to you, I appreciate your gracious generosity.

**Use appropriate closing--avoid 'love' for those not so affectionately close.  Possibly use Very Truly, Sincerely or Best Regards.  Today, some are choosing not to use a closing line if the sentiment just seems too personal.

Finally, it is highly inappropriate for the occasion to send an email thank you.  Also, printing the note using your home computer is very impersonal and should not be done.  If you've personally thanked the giver, it doesn't get you off the hook. You must hand-write your thoughts and mail the card.  Also, it is never too late to write the note, even if you're a month or two behind.  The giver still needs reassurance of your gratitude.  A line of apology for lack of promptness is suggested.

Put on some fun music, set out your supplies, and start expressing gratitude.  Being grateful is said to afford you more health and happiness.  Good Luck, Graduate! 

Please feel free to write to me with your questions.  I'm on Facebook at Upstate School of Etiquette and Twitter @Manners4Youth.  You may also contact me via the website at www.upstateschoolofetiquette.com.  Ronda Ellison