In the Event of a Bunny Disaster (and Other Stupid Laws)

So you can’t find a job, the bank legally took your house, and the neighborhood watch is "standing their ground" with torches and pitchforks while you run into the darkness. Look on the bright side: magic bunnies are safe.

Last week Washington Post writer David A. Farhenthold (German for “one who holds farhents”) published a great piece about a 50 year old law that requires animal exhibitors to have a disaster plan for their livestock. You’d think that such a law would be in place to protect, say, circus animals, and it is.  You don’t want lions running loose after a hurricane, after all.

But apparently the law is written so broadly that even magicians must have disaster plans for their cute little bunnies. Oddly, no such plan is required for a “meat” rabbit, which suggests that the simplest plan for Mr. Bunny in the event of an earthquake is “coat liberally with garlic and butter.”

Don’t misunderstand, though: This is a very well thought out and necessary law.  For example, it only applies to warm-blooded animals, so those Florida magicians who choose to pull pythons out of their top hats are one step ahead of The Man. Chalk another one up for the Sunshine State, and if you move to Georgia or Alabama don’t leave your dog outside.

South Carolina magician Gary Maurer is quoted in Farhenthold’s article: “I’ll take a piece of paper and put down ‘Note: Take rabbit with you when you leave.’ That’s my plan.”  Well said, Mr. Maurer, but you’re going to need to add another 1,500 pages.

Now, in the USDA’s defense they announced that “it would re-examine the rule,” so there’s that. All it took was fifty years and a rather embarrassing article by David A. Farhenthold. 

There you have it: a fine example of your tax dollars in action.  Do you have examples of silly legislation?  Please share them.  I could use a laugh while I’m running from this neighborhood watch.