Little Sayings can Say a Lot

Little sayings can say a lot. I was recently in a bookstore in central coast California with some family members. In addition to wall-to-wall books, old and new, they had plaques and wall hangings with great sayings. Here are a few, with comments:

“DANCE like no one is watching / SING like no one is listening / LOVE like you have never been hurt / LIVE life like each day is your last.”

To dance as if no one’s watching means to dance in utter freedom, if not abandonment. As a young man, I used to enjoy “free-form” dancing all alone. I especially enjoyed dancing to the musical “West Side Story.” I would dance through the entire album, finishing exhausted, but also satisfied. Sometimes you can release emotions through dance, just like through words.

To sing when no one else is hearing you represents the “singing in the shower” phenomenon. I know tone-deaf persons who wait until they are all alone in the shower to sing to their hearts content, even if they sing off-key. I tell them the Bible says, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord,” not “sing on perfect key before God.” And I also tell them that in heaven everyone will be able to carry a tune—or else it would not be heaven.

To love as if you have never been hurt in a love is a major, yet vital challenge. Like many of you, I have had my share of being wounded in love, from outright rejection to the subtler ways persons pull out of a relationship, withdraw their investment, as from a bank. Emotional pain is worse than physical pain, and lasts far longer.

Though you can give up on love and loving for a time, sooner or later your heart propels to seek love again, and to resolve your pain and lingering love issues. Why? Because, and this is another saying from that bookstore: “There is no remedy for love, but to love more” (Henry David Thoreau). Or, as I have put it: “Only love can heal the wounds of love.” At some point, you will either shut down your heart, once and for all, or the desire to love and be loved will resurface like a submarine from the waters of your unconscious, and you wisely decide to “go with it.” I think of a man who recently decided—wisely—to go ahead and risk marriage once again. Healing requires re-entry, period.

To live as if each day is your final day takes real awareness, and imagination. Perhaps what we need is a “near-death experience,” from which we could finally realize the fragile “gift” status of each new day. Truth is, each day is a never-to-be-repeated 24 hours to live and love fully—or to continue hiding, remaining wounded in secret.

“Shoot for the moon, for even if you miss, you will be among the stars. DREAM.” As I have written: “Those who would deny you your dreams, would deny you your life.”

“Friendship isn’t a BIG thing, it’s a million little things.” True friendship means being there for another day in and day out, sharing the little as well as large moments.

And finally: “Love doesn’t make the world go round; it just makes the ride worthwhile.” We need a reason to exist, a purpose worthy of our wanting to live on and continue to be there for others, beginning with our families. If you make love your aim, and follow your heart, your journey across life will be more than worthwhile. Guaranteed.