The Casserole Was Awful, And So Is That Suit, But The Etiquette Is Tricky [The Question]

We’re taught from toddlerhood to tell the truth. But is it ever OK to tell a lie? And if it is, under what circumstances?

We’re asking for The Question, an exclusive Patch column on social etiquette and what to do in certain situations.

Most of us agree that honesty matters. But if we’re being honest with ourselves, most of us have also told a small lie to spare someone’s feelings, avoid embarrassing them or get through an awkward moment without making things worse.

That doesn’t make every lie OK.

Ethicists look at it this way: A lie told to protect yourself from consequences is different from a gentle answer meant to protect someone who is already vulnerable. There’s a huge gulf between “I loved the casserole” and telling a lie that keeps someone from making an important decision with the facts they deserve.

Still, white lies have limits. Where do you draw the line between kindness and dishonesty? Tell us when, if ever, you think a lie is acceptable. Just fill out the survey below. As always, we don’t collect email addresses.

About The Question

The Question is an exclusive Patch series posing a broad array of questions on etiquette and what to do in certain situations — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “The Question” as the subject line.

Catch Up On The Question

• How To Correct Bad Manners Without Shaming
• Cellphone Etiquette Doesn’t Allow These Rude Habits
• When Grieving, These Words And Deeds Offer Comfort
• Here’s A Tip: Stop Asking For A Gratuity For Everything