​H2O-Orange County CA: Like Seinfeld, Is It A Show About Nothing?

H2O-Orange County CA: Like Seinfeld, A Show About Nothing?

Whether it’s the South OC Watershed Management Area (SOCWMA) cabal or the Integrated Regional Water Management Plan (IRWMP) group, by any objective standards both are shows about nothing.

Where rebranding, revisioning and organizational re-imaging is a way of life. Then again "It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen." Homer Simpson

Why regulatory oversight agencies believe this BS, accept it as mitigation and compliance no doubt is a function of their shallow, perfunctory fiduciary trust failures to unearth the blatant duplicity.

Deterrence, not gullibility, drives compliance.

Seinfeld wasn’t really about nothing, but the meme stuck, was great for marketing and promotional purposes. This spring of 2023 we’re being shown the latest grift, another slick, mumbo-jumbo, new age marketing presentation at our major venues.

Stealing from other regions without accreditation, the 100% duplicitous "dawn of a new age" H2O OC Tour bus has landed in a public hearing parking lot near you.

As previously divulged in my 2 Christmas 2022 Lumps of Coal columns late last year, our cheapskate, corner-cutting Orange County Board of Supervisors (BOS) committed themselves decades ago to spending nothing, hence doing nothing. [1]

The 2 efforts listed in my opening paragraph aren’t what they proclaim themselves to be: They’re Orwellian type “double speak,” Machiavellian misdirection hallmarked by PC jargon, rife with intentional omissions which obscure the truth.

They’re stakeholder tribe gatherings and revenue management sources intended to convince public agency members that the table scraps and crumbs from grant funding are actual, not virtual product. True, though, is that the County's helps them get back about $3 million in local potential, not a total washout, more like a push in poker. None alone or in total comprise a significant ecological project, definitely no game changers.

Move to The OC: Where Doing Nothing Is Invaluable! Where Being A Politician Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry!

When our entropic South OC watersheds and seriously under-funded water infrastructure need hundreds of millions of $$$, OC Public Works employees are paid to be pennies-on-the-dollar pimps, salaried actors that feign enthusiasm to keep their jobs.

Do they really believe the kool-aid they’re pouring on behalf of those disengaged, manipulative career politicians? [2] On my watch, as Executive Director of a grass roots watchdog focused on South OC (Clean Water Now, in our 26th year), I can attest that many in these bureaucracy trenches actually do want things to be different.

If they broke ranks, spoke truth to power though, they’d be unemployed. Many are family folks with mortgages and losing one’s job over outing the BOS Super Slackers would equal homelessness or significant financial distress, so I don’t blame them for closing ranks, toeing the party line.

And those revolving door, the more they change the more they stay the same BOS? Lip service, but no significant funds in their entourages. They tour their districts making clever, environmentally correct speeches just like our State and federal representatives…..in reality, clueless as they read elliptical warm and fuzzy speeches written by their staffs.

They wouldn’t know an “issue” from “tissue.” Pretending to raise awareness, they have those death rictus grins pasted to their faces. Or is that gas?

Ever notice how online they look an immaculate, energetic and youthful 30, but in person at ribbon cuttings 70? Photoshop® Is Us!

“Everybody’s doing something. We’ll do nothing!” George Constanza, having come up with bupkis (zilch, nada), thus openly expressing his yada yada failure to come up with anything for Jerry Seinfeld to pitch the show to NBC executives. [3]

The H2O OC gig (Buy your tank top & merch at the venue) is hysterical if you know the details: Pass the hat around WMA and IRWMP participants every year, including NPDES Stormwater (MS4) Permittees (OC is the lead agency) and water-related utilities so the County contributes little if any actual $$$. Members then underwrite County staff time and overhead expenses.

The County as basically totally bogus "rizz" pimps, brokers, if lucky, members gamble, compete against each other to qualify for Capital Improvement Project (CIP) returns. Hence the county is using house money, it’s not theirs. Pooling funds, delegating authority and control to the County keeps the BOS in OCD charge.

Members, like the illusion of power on TV, you know, Meggy on the Simpsons with her simulated driver’s car seat, let's the baby believe that SHE'S driving the vehicle, many are duped. It’s not really “free money” because the members have paid in for years, more akin to a lottery.

This year the H2O OC Tour was rolled out with hoopla like it featured rock stars. “…sheer cloudy vagueness…..a gap between one’s real and declared aims. Long words and exhausted idioms.” George Orwell

I’ve included some of the propaganda from the slide show at the top. Scamming as they inflict their Power Point Presentations upon us, it’s tough not to laugh---except the laughs are on us. We pay taxes in various manners, only to have our BOS make fools of the unsuspecting general public.

Buy time indefinitely, spend $2 million/year, year after year of other agencies money to NOT restore the health of our watersheds, thus NOT improving surface/subsurface water quality and native habitat? Use other people’s money and do nothing of consequence. Is this a great con job or what?

Including NOT investing millions long overdue as the County has allowed unbridled, unmitigated South OC development to the diminishment of our region, avoiding partnering as full paying members to the increase of long term, sustainable and resilient water supply portfolios, to the tune of today's $200,000,000 water/watershed tab the BOS will never cover?

Do they even know, has anyone even informed them about the 1931 Orange County Flood Control Act? Read it, or simply browse, you’ll see that everything from supplies to pollution was to be integrated, tasks enumerated and performed, declared goal and objective priorities addressed preemptively 90 freeking years ago! [4]

Our BOS have chosen these occasional slick PR campaigns, superficial reorganizational flow charts over the years as they stuffed their personal coffers: They’ll never mandate the restoration, preservation and protection of our watersheds since both US and Cal EPA, unless litigated, hold them accountable.

"Heaven is a place where nothing ever really happens." Talking Heads

Don’t hold your breath. Guess the duped like to gobble poop sandwiches? “As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.” Dick Cavett

Entering my 26th year on watch, I’ve seen no substantial changes and no one alive or working in my field ever will. The County system isn’t set up for evolution: It’s instead set up to achieve what Seinfeld demonstrated, a circus that's “Anything. Everything. Something. Who the hell cares?”

In other words, what Seinfeld really wasn’t: A show about nothing.
[1]
https://patch.com/california/lagunabeach/orange-county-public-works-2-lumps-coal-25-years-nothing
https://patch.com/california/lagunabeach/south-oc-watersheds-2-lumps-coal-25-years-nothing-ocpw
[2] https://www.southocirwm.org
[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXYWZhN8Yks
[4] http://cams.ocgov.com/Web_Publisher_SAM/Agenda12_15_2020_files/images/OCPW20-112%20SUP%20ATTACHMENT%20A_9855677.PDF

Roger E. Bütow is the Founder & Executive Director of Clean Water Now

www.clean-water-now.org (Established in 1998)

He’s also a professional land use & regulatory compliance consultant, plus offers construction advisory services.
For more info go to his LinkedIn account: https://www.linkedin.com