Frieda L. Ferrick, MFT, Santa Rosa Counseling: What If? Thoughts About Regrets

In the early hours of the morning or at other times of the day, do you wonder, what if?  Do you think gee, if I only took that job, went to another school, got a higher education, tried harder in high school, didn't get engaged so young, then my life would be so much better?

And you go over and over in your mind about what you should have done.  You agonize and you blame yourself for the unfortunate choices you have made in your life.  And maybe you are unhappy and grumpy and it shows.

So my question to you is this: Is your fretting over your past decisions helping you? Is it helping you to move forward in your life?

Is it helping you to achieve in your work, life bringing you some type of satisfaction?  Is it helping you to strengthen the relationship you are in or the friendships you have?

If this constant musing and agonizing is not helping you the you are getting stuck in regret mode.

So, how do you stop this chatter in your head and start to move forward in a more positive direction?

There are two things I would suggest thinking about these choices and learning from what you did.  What would you keep the same and what would you change?

Learning lessons are not failures, they are opportunities to do better in the future.

After learning the lessons you need to learn, there comes a time when it is important to accept, that this is where you are now and you are only human.

There may be opporunity to improve your life situation and to be happier.

Take one small step at a time.