I squatted down, face to snout, and said gently,"Listen, your new sister is a bit,umm, energetic. A bit insistent. Demanding maybe? She likes to herd. Which means, she likes to help you walk and run places. I can see that you are a laid back dog and I can appreciate that. Just be fair warned, girl." Sally and I met a few months back when Michelle and I started dating. She was laying attentively in her kennel, listening closely to my strange, new voice. After Michelle introduced me to the girls, she turned my attention to the kennel. "And this is our dog, Sally. She likes to lay in there and probably won't come out too much when you are here. She's a bit skittish." "Oh I see", I said, noticing the hamster water bottle angled into her kennel. "Does she actually drink out of that?" "Well sure she does. It takes her a while but she likes it." I envisioned drinking a 7-11 Big Gulp with a coffee stirrer. Frustrating. "She is a bit different, Sally." Michelle said empathetically patting the kennel, "But we love her. She protects us."
Sally was polite but reserved. Occasionally I would catch her looking at me intently from across the room. Her snout buried in the fold of her stomach, body folded to preserve heat, she watched me with great interest trying to decide friend or foe. Michelle said joking one night,"If she comes to like you then I'll keep you." "Well that's all I have to do? Whew…" I smiled and kissed Michelle and promised to make Sally my own if Michelle would have me.
Sally was the proclaimed protector of the girls. Always alert, she never missed an opportunity to bark at the vacuum cleaner as if it were driving you instead of you driving the vacuum cleaner. "Mom, just let go and run!" I imagined her saying.
Sally was a lightly toasted, brown mix-breed with comically crossed eyes that made her look less than intelligent but endearingly sweet. Emily, our youngest daughter, claims she had "sad eyes". She also had a biological stink mechanism that was perpetually turned on because no matter what, she smelled like a dog. A full on bark fit would lift both front paws off the ground and catapult her ears skyward. A funny sight considering the 23 hours hours per day that she slept.
Sally had a very serious personality. Michelle told me that someone in the past had been mean to her and she deserved a comfortable, peaceful home. Michelle turned away from me hiding a pained expression and I understood then that if I were any less of a man than what I seemed to be then there would be consequences. I took my dog father role seriously.
Michelle and I dated for several months and then decided to move in together, her, the girls, and Sally, and me and Luna. My house was a bit smaller but included a large back yard where the girls and the puppies could play. Luna and Sally generally ignored each other, Sally constantly complaining that Luna wanted to play too much and Luna complaining that Sally smelled. For Sally, Luna was seen as the competition. Although Sally never had the energy to outwardly protest Luna's attention, she would disappear for hours hogging her presence from the rest of us. While in the back yard Luna and Sally were a united front. They would patrol the perimeter of the yard together scaring off intrusive squirrels and warding off the completely innocent neighbors, how dare they.
Eventually my small house became even smaller and we looked for a larger place. Summer was in full swing and we were feeling the pressure to find a home closer to school before the new school year started. Everything in the house was boxed up and we decided to take the puppies to the new house as soon as possible in order to acclimate them to their new surroundings.
After moving in, Sally and Luna resumed their normal night time positioning. Luna slept in the bed with us and Sally slept at the foot of the bed, covered with a towel hidden from the world. The two drifted apart. There was no real back yard to patrol and no team building squirrel activities. Sally spent an inordinate amount of time sleeping while Luna barked incessantly at the cats outside. "I think Sally is depressed, Love" I said to Michelle one night."It's ok, she always looks like that.""Well yeah, she always looks silly, but I think she's mad at me. I see the way she looks at me when I have to put her in her kennel. It's animosity. She doesn't get to go outside as much as she used to." I said, feeling guilty and inadequate.
That Sunday night Michelle and I held each other and cried and comforted one another over devastating news. Our first pregnancy had been unsuccessful and nothing could describe the pain and overwhelming sense of loss we felt. Michelle was graceful and strong and held us together. She remained strong for our girls but mourned deeply in our bedroom. It shamed me to acknowledge my emotional pain while Michelle was still dealing with emotional and physical pain. The mood in the house was somber and Sally and Luna followed suit. They would lay, sprawled out amongst us on the couch, not asking to play but just being there with us.
Tuesday morning, the puppies and I went outside for our customary morning frolic. It was late in the year and I was considering the changing of the leaves when I noticed Sally drinking water from a standing puddle. I shooed her from the rancid puddle and we went back inside to start our day.
Michelle was staying home that day so there was no need to put the puppies in the kennels, yet Sally chose to lay in hers. I returned that evening to find Sally still laying in the kennel and while squatting down to say hello, I noticed her eyes had changed from her normal iridescent blue to a sickly looking, yellowish tint. "Honey, you need to come look at this."Michelle poked her head from the bedroom and came to sit beside me. "Her eyes are yellow. I know what that means. She's sick."Michelle pulled Sally's head up to get a better look and with slight anxiety said,"How did this happen? She was fine this morning.""I don't know but we need to get her to the doc pretty soon." I gently pulled Sally from her kennel and wrapped her in some towels. Michelle did not show it but she knew what would eventually happen.
I took Sally to the vet and the news wasn't good. She would require blood transfusions on a regular basis, and even then the prognosis was grim. Dr. Bullard, our vet compassionately told me that this may be Sally's last few days with us. How was I going to tell Michelle and the girls that, in return for Sally's love and support, I was going to have to put her down? Michelle and I decided that night that as long as she was not in pain then we all wanted her to be in the house when she passed.
The following day was spent at home with Sally, all of us knowing that she would die soon. The girls wanted to make her a treat, so we mixed sugar into her water. She refused to eat. Otherwise, I believe the girls would have stuffed her full of candy and cookies. What dog doesn't love sweets, right? Evening was spent worrying that she would be gone in the morning, but to our amazement she lasted the night. However, she was throwing up her fluids now and seemed visibly in pain. Our worst fear came true. We all said our goodbyes in our own way and I loaded her in to the truck.
The tendency to turn around and go home was overwhelming, but watching her yelp in pain forced me on to the vet. We pulled into a spot on the far corner of the parking lot. It was a magnificent Fall day with a gentle breeze. I took Sally out and laid her down on my tail gate. We sat and looked around at the world, me wondering how something so devastating could be so routine. The very business in front of me is partially dedicated to ending the lives of our pets in a humane and painless way when they are dying. Sally's look seemed to say,"This is what I want and this is how it's got to be. I've lived a good life surrounded by Kate, Emily, Michelle, and you. I don't want to hurt anymore. Thank you for my life." I sat and cried on the tail gate beside this silly looking, loving, and protective animal that we lovingly called, Sally.
I buried Sally under a grand Oak tree behind Michelle's grandmother's house. The spot affords her sunshine in the Winter and shade in the Summer.
In retrospect, we both agree that that week was arguably the worst week in recent memory but we take comfort in knowing that in that span of 5 days, two loving souls continued on with their journey.
