I, St. Charles Reject

“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.”  —Sylvester Stallone

Yeats. Whitman. Stallone.

I was walking out of the Bull & Bear cigar store, a rocks toss from the Fox River in downtown St. Charles, feeling, well, rejected. Because I had been.

My son, G Frenzy, 4, was sobbing uncontrollably eight paces behind me as a result of dropping his strawberry ice cream cone that he had bought from Gramp's Frozen Custard (sorry, Kimmers) with money he earns for mowing our lawn. He too, felt rejected. Because he had been, by that little cone that couldn’t support the large scoop of ice cream.

When I get flicked off by life, I celebrate. Like Rocky said, the bugle to get me going was in my ear. In this case my mouth as I was huffing a Punch cigar, the smoke trailing back into my child’s face. I fondly remember being a kid and inhaling my Dad’s second hand cigar smoke. Tradition.

The Patch, this here publication, the residence of my blog, the online communauté rag du St. Charles, had given me The Hand, FU’d two of my blog submissions for being “a little too risky.”

Please see below. I got two upper cuts to the chin in three minutes.

Tue, May 10, 2011 at 10:03 AM

Subject: St. Charles Patch - Blog Post Rejected: "Santa, Le Drunk"

Tue, May 10, 2011 at 10:00 AM

Subject: St. Charles Patch - Blog Post Rejected: "Final Out"

Risky?

Let’s take a walk.

“AOL, the Time Warner online unit said it was buying two small local start-ups, Patch Media and Going.” June 2009

“Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That s***’ll come back with you.” – a line from Time Warner’s movie “The Hangover.”

When my boss, Ed Itor, sent me the REJECTION, he was compassionate and encouraging unlike some editors. He dug my stuff. Just not two sexual innuendos tucked in each piece. And readers, they were sexy ... but too sexy for St. Charles. Don’t you dig sexy, St. Charles? You went to Time Warner’s The Hangover, a sexual fueled romp and cried with laughter, right?

I am not going to dive into the irony or crux of contradiction or the Hippo in Hypocrisy or the Comedy Crush I have on Zach Galifianakis. You Tube “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis.” You’ll cry with laughter.

And I ain’t going to be sad. Like Sly said I am going to “wake up and get going, rather than retreat” and keep submitting my sometimes offensive s**** and maybe be lucky enough to keep getting rejection notes so I can write a book entitled “RejectoBlog” which gets turned into a movie starring that skinny dude from The Social Network.

The community uproar because of my blog has been enormous. The backlash keeps pouring in. You are a bad example for The Pride of the Fox! Wait, all of my blog posts tasteful enough to pass have zero comments. Grandma, were you too busy gambling online to reply at all?

I will leave you with Hillary, Mrs. Clinton if you’re nasty. Dang, that Janet Jackson song lyric reference, the one that will make some dude in a mullet fondly look back at his prom, is REJECTION worthy. Isn’t that anti-government sentiment, Ed?

She made the following remarks made in a speech by at The Newseum in Washington, DC on January 21, 2010 on internet freedom.

“The internet is a network that magnifies the power and potential of all others. And that’s why we believe it’s critical that its users are assured certain basic freedoms. Freedom of expression is first among them. Blogs, emails, social networks, and text messages have opened up new forums for exchanging ideas, and created new targets for censorship.

And censorship should not be in any way accepted by any company from anywhere. And in America, American companies need to make a principled stand. This needs to be part of our national brand. I’m confident that consumers worldwide will reward companies that follow those principles.

Now, we are reinvigorating the Global Internet Freedom Task Force as a forum for addressing threats to internet freedom around the world, and we are urging U.S. media companies to take a proactive role.”

Someone’s blowing a bugle alright.

 Source: US Department of State website

             http://www.state.gov/secretary/rm/2010/01/135519.htm