After Son's Suicide, N.J. Father Challenges People To Be 'Kind'

Everybody believed that Dylan Vassallo, at 17, had a "zest" for life. He was the kind of kid who did as much as he could for others, even if he didn't have the time to do it, especially if it meant doing something kind.

Then, on Aug. 4, 2015, at his home in Holmdel, that selfless life came to an end.

Now his father, Dennis, is trying to extend that spirit, nearly 18 months after Dylan's suicide seemed to end all thoughts of hope.

Vassallo has started "The Kindness Challenge," a Facebook page that has more than 72,000 followers and where people post anything that's intended to make people feel better about their own lives.

More specifically, it's supposed to change the subject from the rancor that's dominated social media recently — and especially since the presidential election — and give people the opportunity to advertise the goodness of the world.

"I like and love all of my friends regardless of their opinions," Dennis Vassallo wrote in a Facebook post. "I don’t like all the anger. It is really disheartening."

"I was told a very long time ago that I am either part of the problem or part of the solution."

What he got was something that was intended for a few friends and family, he said, but then grew into something big and beautiful.

Some of the stories that people have posted include:

• A woman talked about how somebody gave a perfect stranger their extra Bed Bath and Beyond coupon. "A nice gentleman was able to buy a second item he was contemplating purchasing [but nearly didn't because of] his 'tight budget.'"
• A man was inspired to knock on doors to inquire about an emaciated animal he saw in a yard. After seeking help and intervention, the owner agreed to give up the horse, and an "amazing" couple in his neighborhood with an empty shed and paddock agreed to take her in. The mare now is limited in mobility "but has a will to live."

These kind of acts would have been the kind of thing Dylan would still be doing if he had found a will to live on himself.

Dylan served as an altar boy at St. Benedict’s of Holmdel for eight years. He had been a lifelong communicant of the church.

Dylan was an active volunteer and "person of service" in Honduras. He was even a military buff, and he was pursuing possible admission into the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis.

"He was a gifted athlete, a talented writer, accomplished cook and an avid reader - just some of the outstanding qualities of this passionate being," according to his obituary.

Dylan was entering his senior year of high school at Christian Brothers Academy in Lincroft when he decided to take his life.

By then, his activities were only growing. Dylan was a 2015 American Legion Jersey Boys State alumnus and a 7-year member of Boy Scout Troop 131, earning the badge of Life Rank. He was also a 3-year ambassador at CBA and a captain and founding member of the CBA jiu-jitsu team.

"He had a great zest for life and was always interested in learning about a variety of topics, mainly other people and cultures," according to his obituary from the John E. Day Funeral Home in Red Bank.

"He had a great sense of humor, a quick wit, charm and was a compassionate soul," it said. "He was good friend and neighbor to many."

Now his father wants to recapture that zest in a way that will make Dylan's memory live on.

"I don’t believe this will be a solution," he said. "Maybe it can be a tiny step towards treating each other with some love, respect and above all, kindness."

Photo courtesy of Vassallo family