Are Alzheimer's Caregivers Forgotten?

     It is not unusual for Alzheimer's caregivers to feel forgotten.  As time goes on their loved ones condition worsens---friends drift away, sometimes even family members will stop calling.
     While the general public is more aware of Alzheimer's, there is still so much that we do not know.  Because of that, Alzheimer's is scary and disconcerting--hard to accept, hard to understand and even harder to watch especially as the disease progresses.
     While caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, the caregivers life is put on hold or--even worse--they have no life of their own.  Many caregivers feel they have no choice, and because of that, a great number of caregivers suffer from depression.
     Bob DeMArco of the website Alzheimersreadingroom.com states "Alzheimer's ...kills the brain of the person suffering from it...and it will try to kill the brain of the Alzheimer's caregiver."
     Because other family members or friends are busy with their own lives, they do not realize what is happening to the caregiver.  The caregiver may tell you about a difficult day they are having but rarely do they ask for help directly.
     If you are a friend or family member reading this blog you can do something to help.  Try to organize a small group of people--a team--and come up with a plan to help the caregiver.  Make dinner and bring it over one night, sit with the Alzheimer's individual so the caregiver can go out to lunch, volunteer to accompany them to the doctors.  There are so many things that you can do.  Don't be afraid to ask and then follow through.
     On the other side, if you are the caregiver ask directly for help.  Let friends and family members know what you need.  Too often we are afraid to "bother" other people.  Despite everything, friends and family may not understand the stress you are feeling.  They may not understand how you are struggling.
      Do not allow Alzheimer's to take contol of the caregiver--or your life if you are the caregiver.  Form a team.  The caregiver gets a break and feels like they have part of their life back.  If the caregiver is happier and less stressed, the individual with Alzheimer's receives better care.  Those that reah out and help, receive the satisfaction of knowing that what they are doing enriches someone's life.
      Don't hesitate or be afraid.  Try and reach out today.
 
*** There is always the possibility that friends and family are live a distance away and can not help.  Or, unfortunately,they may be near and do not want to help. Caregivers then must look into getting help from the outside.  Look into adult day programs where your loved one can socialize in a safe, secure enviroment.  (For more information on adult day programs in your area, contact your office on aging or call us at 973-635-2266)