Friends, One of Life's Best Gifts

They say the friends you make on the playground are the friends you make for life.  I say that is true but with a twist.  I still have playground friends from when I was a child.  Some I have kept in touch with over the years, some I have lost track of and found again using facebook, and still some I see often.  When you are a child friendships can be your first and most intense relationships outside of your immediate family.  You are learning to navigate the complex roads of life in school, and on the playground, and friends are there to offer you a smile and the feeling that you are not alone. 

As an only child, I know what alone feels like all too much. I had to go on vacation alone, spend holidays alone, nights alone, and many weekends still alone.  I did not have other children in my house to play with, or enjoy time together.  Even though I had great loving parents, it just was not the same.  However when I was three that all changed. I met a friend.  His name was Chris and to my mother’s horror, he called me Linny.  We met on the school playground with our parents. He was an only child too and soon we became inseparable.  We did everything together from his house to mine.  I remember every night in the summers, my family would just be finishing dinner and Chris would come knocking on the back door asking if I could come out and play.  Never mind we had spent the whole day playing, it was time for more.  As the years went by more friends came into our lives. Some stayed, some did not. In addition, as the years went by Chris and I navigated our way into different groups, but never forgot we were friends. That early friendship meant the world to me. I learned a very big lesson, that I was not alone.

When my children were younger, I found that even though I was grown the playground was still a place for making friends. Not just for them, but for me.  I bounded with the other Moms pushing infants in baby swings. We talked about sleepless nights, and when to take bottle away.  As my kids grew and started to seek out friends of their own, I was doing the same.  They were searching the place for kids their own age as I was searching for Moms that had kids their age too.  Every time we would return we would all hope to see the same faces again.  Soon we would exchange numbers and actually set up “play dates”.  We always said it would be good for the kids to get together, but I think it was better for us. 

When we moved and started Kindergarten, I can remember that first day on the blacktop.  All the kids dressed in cute outfits looking for friendly faces to stand near, all the Moms doing the same.  As a Mom, we were just as open to meeting new people that day as our kids were.  We struck up conversations, made good eye contact, lingered, and chatted.  We did this every day until we were comfortable looking up phone numbers in the directory to arrange those ever-important play dates. 

Soon we were meeting for coffee without the kids, and moms’ nights out occasionally.  We formed book clubs, and weight loss groups. We got the husbands together for couples nights, and sports socials.  We saved each other seats, and volunteer spots.  We passed recipes and old clothes. We got together to shop, walk, complain and of course talk. We talked about everything, nothing was off limits (sorry husbands it is just what we do), and we talked about nothing. We hugged, cried and laughed, and never stopped caring.  As friends we have come together to mourn the loss of our Grandparents, parents, siblings,friends and sometimes even children.  We have celebrated birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, births, and just a night out. We have offered opinions, advice, and car rides home. We helped each other fix broken toys, broken hearts, and broken spirits.  We have picked up each other’s kids, dropped off meals, and held hands.  However, the most important thing we have done is to show each other that we are not alone.  No matter what we are going through, no matter how high the mountain is to climb we know we have our friends to help us. My friends have constantly amazed me. The length they will go to, the distance they will travel, and the love they will give takes my breath away every day.

In high school it was very common for many of us to write a quote in each other’s yearbooks, “Make new friends but don’t forget the old, because one is like silver, and one is like gold.” In every season of my life I have had some wonderful people who I am honored to call friends, and as I get older and so do my kids I am sure that quote will still hold true.  In my opinion of you want to find gold you need to start digging in the dirt on the playground no matter what you age is. You can bet that one day in the very distant future when I am old and gray, I will take my grandkids to the playground, and I will be sure to bring my shovel.