He was, is and remains my beautiful boy.
His picture remains on the shelf above my bed next to his Dad and siblings.
As I gaze up at him with love, I remember so many things.
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I remember the day he was born; the morning after his Grandfather, my Dad, a/k/a The Magician, had been called to his eternal reward.
I had so hoped they would meet each other, the first Grandson in our family. But that was never to be, I realized when I held the frail infant in my arms.
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Later that September day as I recovered slowly from the trauma of death and birth almost coinciding, I began to believe their two souls had passed in the night.
One, as he quietly left life behind; the other, as he bade the angels adieu and joined humanity.
Often throughout the years that followed I remembered that belief as my beautiful boy became more and more like the Grandfather he never knew.
He rarely raised his voice, and was gentle in manner and thoughtfulness.
And he yearned to join the Navy like the Grandfather he never met.
He was a loner in many ways, not nearly as mischievous or outgoing as his young siblings.
And he seemed to love me. No, I correct that statement. My beautiful boy loved both his Father and I. I refuse to doubt that.
He seldom asked for help, but constantly gave it without being asked.
When the opportunity came to follow the naval career he so desperately wanted, I gave him all the help I could. Despite knowing my heart would soon break. Because I also knew he would then leave never to return.
And I was quite right.
The career he yearned for required commitment taking him to faraway places and distant worlds.
During his travels he met his princess, and all who loved this young man rejoiced in their happiness.
Somewhere, somehow, something happened that then caused my beautiful boy to seek distance from the Mother who loved him.
I never knew what was the cause nor was I ever able to find a reason.
Still the distance between us grew longer. Now I doubt it has an end.
However as I gaze each morning at the picture on the shelf, I only see My Beautiful Boy.
And I believe he knows I understand and wish him the Happiest of Birthdays.
