Vegetables, Questions and

We hover on the fringes of each other’s world.

Our connection is not based on blood or genes, but rather initiated by love, respect and to a degree, a bit of intrigue.

Consequently, when I heard what she said, I wasn’t offended or insulted but perhaps a bit surprised.

She had done that once before, the year she was 16, when we were lunching at one of NYC’s famed restaurants. On that crisp October afternoon when I heard her concise question as we lingered over our quiche. I recall thinking, “Nobody has ever asked me that before.”

After I answered truthfully without hesitation, I quickly realized she was now the one, not only surprised, but shocked perhaps at my naiveté.

However, that was a long time ago, and both our lives have moved on; hers far more happier than mine. I have lost the one I loved, and she has found not only her knight, but now has two amazing youngsters.

When I had totally absorbed her comment, “Anne, you are such a snob.” I answered her once again without hesitation.

“I am honest,” I replied. She smiled affectionately as she agreed, “Yes, you are.”

That was weeks ago, and the brief interlude has lingered perhaps gaining momentum in memory. Her surprising viewpoint was initiated not by my viewpoint on race, politics, sexual persuasions, religion or anything else even quasi controversial. Rather it was because I had just stated that I not only dislike beans, but avoid them in any shape, size or container. Perhaps I was a mite more outspoken and may have used the word hate.

That evening at dinner the tiny pellets had been snuggled tightly in the salad wearing an outer disguise of romaine lettuce. I recognized them immediately and instinctively cringed. I was totally unaware that my intense dislike and/or revulsion at such a mundane item could be considered a form of elitism. Now I wondered if the criticism was valid, and if I needed to re-evaluate my disdain.

It has taken me quite a while to choose not to do that. The outspoken observation was her choice, not only of words, but reflected an honest opinion.

My defense is equally honest, and I have also chosen not to relinquish my position. I will avoid beans whenever they lurk ominously on either horizon or dinner plate.

However, I also refuse to allow this unexpected interpretation from a bright, beautiful and thought provoking young woman to interfere in a cherished relationship.

Certainly, not because of a vegetable.