Keeping Children Emotionally Healthy After Traumatic Events

NEW ROCHELLE, NY - Recent headlines of the incident that took place at a local middle school have many concerned for children’s physical safety. But adults also need to be mindful of the impact this type of event can have on children’s—as well as their own—mental health.

“Even when an event like this occurs hundreds of miles away, it can have a profound impact on a child’s emotional well-being,” says Erika Rexhouse, LCSW-R, director of school and community engagement for The Guidance Center of Westchester.

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“Since this happened right in our own community, children may process the events much more personally, especially those students who are in the school or who are friends with those involved,” she said. “Our first job as adults is to reassure our children that all the grown-ups they know are trying to keep them safe.”

Rexhouse suggests limiting media exposure for the children.

“Keep informed, but don’t let the coverage consume your day, particularly when your children are present. Dwelling on the coverage can lead to the child feeling unsafe,” she said.

The overwhelming presence of social media in children’s lives adds yet another layer. Parents need to be more vigilant than usual in monitoring their children’s accounts, keeping a look out for rumors or inflammatory comments regarding the situation, Rexhouse said.

Parents need to read and understand information presented by the school so that they can present facts to their children and dispel the rumors which are certain to circulate.

Parents need to be on the lookout for physical symptoms which someone may not think are related to the traumatic event. Rexhouse said to be on the lookout for: nightmares; the shakes; difficulty breathing for no apparent reason; loss of appetite; headaches; other physical complaints.

So, what do parents do? How can parents help themselves and their children feel safe?

Rexhouse said:

• Have a plan. Review the school’s emergency preparedness plan and talk about this plan with your children. Make sure they understand the plan and that they view it as a way to be safe and have power and control, not as a threat.
• Limit media exposure. If children ask questions, answer them honestly with words they will understand. Limit information to basic facts.
• Remind them that everyone is working to keep the community safe. Reassure them that it is highly unlikely that something is going to happen to them.
• Look for physical symptoms such as headaches, sleeplessness, mood swings or clinginess, bedwetting, etc. This may happen for a week or two. If it goes on longer, consult your child’s physician. Some children may have no immediate reaction at all and symptoms may occur three to six months later.
• Take care of yourself. You can’t care for your children if you are not feeling well yourself. Make sure you’re getting sleep and good nutrition. Be a good role model for your children.
• Children already in treatment for emotional or behavioral issues may see an increase in symptoms. Consult with your child’s therapist.
• Try to keep things as normal as possible for your children. Stick to routines and keep up regular activities.

Most importantly, hug your kids and those you love, Rexhouse said, and reach out if you need support.

If you would like to schedule an appointment with one of the Guidance Center clinicians, call 914-613-0705.