The Bad Karma of Bullying

How can it be? Yet another distraught child, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, has taken his own life due to incessant bullying. 

For years, this beautiful little boy was hounded and harassed because he was "gay." He was a child! When I think of children so filled with hatred towards another child, I feel like weeping. The thought of finding your child dead by his own hand because at 14 his life was unbearable, is beyond heartbreaking.

Recently, my best friend's granddaughter was assaulted at the school bus on her way to BOCES class. She was so badly brutalized she wound up in the emergency room. Shockingly, the bus driver did nothing to stop the horrific assault, and the school denies any responsibility because it was "after classes" stopped for the day.

Girls and boys joined in the revolting attack. The bullies responsible for this are violent criminals, not  "teenagers." Appallingly, nothing has been done to stop them.  

Bullying is not a new thing. I was relentlessly bullied throughout my school years because I was small, a "brain" and singularly unattractive. I didn't "fit in." I was called a variety of hurtful names and made the butt of many cruel jokes.

I never told my parents because I was so afraid of everything. Foolishly, I thought they would be angry at me for being bullied. If it hasn't happened to you, you can't imagine the pain and fear of the bullied child. Going to school is a  gauntlet of  misery and tension. What fresh hell will the bullies inflict upon you? Will it be verbal taunting or will it escalate to physical violence? I was blessed with a very tough hide. Although I was afraid in school, I refused to show it. Sometimes, I prayed. Sometimes, I fought back. No teacher, or adult for that matter, ever intervened.

Bullying is assault. It's hate that is tacitly accepted as schools and parents pass the buck. It should be a crime. Too many parents turn a blind eye to their children's bullying behavior or think it's funny to torment someone who is perceived to be different. Some of the most vicious attacks are inflicted on those who are thought to be or who are, gay. Gay kids suffer tremendously in school.

Remember, your children are listening to the things you say in your  home. They live what they learn through your teaching. Are you a bullying parent? If your child is experiencing stomach pains, loss of appetite, malingering about school attendance, cutting classes, crying for "no reason," withdrawing from family and other social activities, please know these may be signs that your child is being bullied. Get the child to a doctor for a complete physical and exam. Bullying causes damage you can't see.  

As adults it is our duty to protect ALL children, not just our own, from bullies of any age. If your child is being bullied, speak out immediately and insist that the school take action. If you see a child being bullied, step in and stop it. If your child IS a bully, it is your responsibility to stop this behavior and get your child into  counseling.

If you are being bullied, speak up! 

Tell your parents, your teachers, counselors or clergy. Silence is victory for any bully. Our schools must adopt a zero tolerance policy towards bullying anywhere on school grounds. Expulsion and counseling for bullying should be mandatory. 

Bullies don't grow up to be happy, well adjusted adults. It is of the utmost importance to intervene in these behaviors and get professional help for these unhappy, misguided children. Not only do bullies ruin the lives of others, they destroy their own.

If your child displays inordinate anger, violence, lack of self control or abuses siblings or animals, you must take immediate control. Hatred is a disease of the soul but we can begin to wipe it out through our own example and actions.  The best place to start is within ourselves and our own precious children.