Dads are special people. There is no doubt. When they actively participate in their children’s lives, fathers hold a special place in their hearts that cannot be filled by anyone else. Conversely, when there is an absence of dad in a child’s life, a deep void is experienced. They often feel like there is something wrong with them. Boys in turn act out negatively or violently because they lack a male role model, and girls, in search of validation for their daddy’s love, may prematurely escalate a beginning romance. Despite the ample research indicating the problems associated with fatherless homes, the importance of dads are ignored in society. On television, parents in general are depicted as bumbling idiots who are of lesser intelligence than their savvy teenagers. You can see how these pictorials of family life could easily and unconsciously undermine the value of fathers. Despite this societal perspective, dads are critical in the rearing of successful children.
By understanding the significant role that dads play, it is important for you as a father to assess your own relationship with their children. Is it mostly positive or negative? It is important to be completely honest, even if the answer is not favorable. Ask yourself is there any room for improvement? After examination, if you have deemed that your actions thankfully do not personify the typical television dad but could be improved, acknowledge yourself for making this momentous decision to be the father your children deserve. You are taking the first step to build healthier relationships with them. Know that this declaration will better prepare your teenager to make good decisions now, and in the future. You are giving them what they long for most: you, despite the common belief that dads are needed only for financial support. Realize that your middle school-aged child, teenager, or college-bound student craves your attention. They want you to know what is important to them, and would like your support in accomplishing their dreams, not yours. If having a healthy relationship with your kids sounds like something worthy of pursuit, how do I begin? Glad, you asked. Here are some practical things you can do to build healthier father/parent relationships. First, if you live in the home or outside of the home, be completely honest with your child if you have made mistakes in the relationship. Admit it. Tell him or her sorry for not being involved or as involved as you should have been in their lives. Next, commit to your teenager that you will be there, and give them concrete steps as to what exactly you are going to do. Stick to your commitments. Scheduling special time for school projects, homework, and eating dinner as a family, should support you in building a more loving home environment. Having a Friday family fun night without television or social media is also a great icebreaker. If you do not live with your children, there are also ways to start loving consistency as well. Pick them up when you say, support them financially, and attend special events that your children enjoy. When you are with your kids, pay attention to them and relish the opportunity to spend this time together. Building great relationships with your children begins with knowing the important role you play and by taking these committed actions to do things differently.
Fathers are vitally important to the children’s lives, despite what society has convinced many, including dads themselves. Your child needs you because you give them something they desire and cannot get from anyone else; your love, that special place in their heart reserved only for you.
