Domestic Violence Awareness Champion- Toni Clark

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month- and each week we have selected a champion that has survived abuse.  This week- meet Toni Clark

Her Story:

I was raised in an domestic violence situation. My parents were high school sweethearts and I'm the Prom production. Upon relocating to the DMV, their marriage took a terrible turn. He would become very upset and as a child, I didn't know why, but would hear them begin arguing and eventually physically fighting. The police were a regular structure in my young childhood, but my daddy was never gone for too long. My mother continued to take him back in, no matter how often she & I were sitting in the E.R. at least 1 once week. My mother finally put him out, but he stalked her a few times & would beat her up when he'd come to pick me up. Unfortunately, my mother went thru a few more abusive relationships, which I could not understand, for I was know in my 'tween years (12-14) and had become very harden by the abusive relationships that I was eyewitness, too. I entered my 1st "real", at least I thought it was real, relationship at 15 and thought the verbal and eventual physical abuse was normal, it was all I knew. When I watched other couples, I didn't see the fear that I knew I had toward my boyfriend and started "rebelling" against him & what he said; interesting enough my mother did everything in her power to try to keep me away from him, for the abuse had gotten back to my mother via school teachers, counselors, etc. In my mind, I laughed and said she had her nerve, she knows what  it's like to 'love' somebody and it was from her that I learned also.

Here we are almost 30 years later and just recently, like in the past 5 years, I've come to an understanding, acceptance & realization that none of what I endured was my fault, it was the issues & inexplicable insecurities of those that have abused that are to be held accountable for their actions. So hard as it may be to get too, there's something that, with prayer & maybe counseling, you'll know Eventually it Not Ur Fault (ENUF). So, with a beautiful heart, unconditional love & forgiveness for all, I say, I love me, but I love me more.

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Ms. Toni Clark