The Poot

 A good friend of mine and I were sitting in a restaurant having breakfast. We had not hung out in over 6 months and our conversation was lively. Jokes were being tossed around haphazardly and we were laughing heartily. My friend, who is physically designed to maximize flatulent entertainment, finished a laugh and then his face went stoic. I turned my head as if to say, "What's wrong?" He bent his head back and assumed the facial expression of someone who is about to sneeze forcibly. While doing this, he leaned over as if he were going to fart. While both of these postures were taking place, the waitress walked up from behind him and ask if we needed anything else. He turned at a forty-five degree angle and then let loose. The fart, sneeze, and a muffled,"I don't think so" came out at one time and the expression on his face looked as if he had broken his back. The fart resonated off the plastic seat in this beautiful soliloquy that could be heard three buildings away. Combined with the sneeze and muffled statement, it sounded as if someone has pressed every key on an electric keyboard at once.