Four Words a Female Never has to Say--Ever

Four words a female never has to say--ever 

One of my favorite lines came from a stand-up comic who said, "It's entirely possible for a female to lead a long, productive, useful life without ever uttering these four words: north, south, east and west."

I heartily agree. Directions are not my strong suit. Marion, my husband, loves to tell this story about me. While working freelance with The Pickens Sentinel, I had been assigned to cover a meeting at the library in Greenwood. I asked a friend, Barbara Putnam, to go along for company.

After the meeting we were directed to a restaurant where we had lunch. I didn't pay much attention to how we got there, and when it was time to head back, I had no idea which way to go.

Not being afraid to ask for directions, I drove until I came to a service station with a man standing outside. He was kind and said that I could get on the bypass and it would take me home. I asked him where the bypass was. Pointing toward the bypass, he said, "Lady, you just crossed it."

And then I said, I hate to ask you this, but I have to. "When I get to the by-pass, which way do I turn?"

He said, "It depends on where you want to go."

Thinking he might not know where Easley is, I said, "Greenville." I knew if I could get to Greenville I could find my way from there.

But it wasn't quite that simple. Somewhere down below Anderson I made a wrong turn and wandered through the countryside until I was afraid I would run out of gas. Barbara was no help. She didn't know those four words either.

Finally I came to a road I recognized and arrived home—very, very late. Since I was paid mileage, I asked Marion how far it is to Greenwood and back. I didn't dare report how far I had actually driven.