It takes a (new) Village...Wharf?

Every day we hear about another candidate tossing their hat into the ring for the 2012 Presidential Election.  We are saturated with coverage of the tornadoes in Joplin, MO and the rest of the battered  Midwest and South.  Pretty sure by now we’ve all grown familiar (and weary) with Representative Weiner’s tweeting challenges, and possibly, his lower anatomy too.  But it all pales in comparison to the most captivating local news story in our area, that has backyard barbecues abuzz and phone lines burning up…and that is…what is going to replace the old Village Wharf Restaurant at the Hollin Hills Shopping Center on Fort Hunt Road? 

For those who don’t know, Village Wharf was a full-service area family restaurant that specialized in seafood, had a popular half-price burger night on Tuesdays and occupied a prime part of real estate in the Hollin Hall Shopping Center for about the last 25+ years.  It closed rather hastily in November of 2010 and has sat empty ever since with speculation mounting over what might replace it. 

Many of the locals who dined at Village Wharf in recent years did so more out of convenience versus a quest for inspired cooking.  Recent Yelp (website whose purpose is to “connect people with great local business” and whose tagline is “Real People. Real Reviews”®) postings, before the restaurant shuttered its doors, helps shed some light onto what precipitated Village Wharf’s fall from grace.  Monk E.R. of Alexandria unmercifully stated:  It’s “the abusive spouse you keep coming back to.”  Further, he added, “I always wonder how this place stays in business.  The elderly gentleman sitting next to us may have enlightened me.  Guy’s on the wrong side of 80 by the looks of it and not quite all there in the memory department.  He’s with his adult kids.  I heard him ask them, ‘What’s the name of this place again?’  They responded, ‘It’s the Village Wharf, Dad.  We’ve taken you here lots of times.’ And there’s the answer:  the clientelle [sic] are predominantly old folks who can’t remember how bad the food is from the last time they ate here.  There also seem to be old folks who just aren’t happy unless they have something to complain about.  The Village Wharf gives it to them in spades.  Then there are the people who suffer from flavor intolerance, and can’t eat anything with salt or spices or well, flavor.  The food here is bland enough to suit the needs of these people as well as anyone who’s recently had a stroke or are recovering from surgery.”

Another Yelper, John O of Springfield, and like Monk E.R., no shrinking violet either, offered a similarly harsh yet slightly different perception.  He said, “Service ranges between good and surly.  The clientele represents the local population:  middle aged [sic], professional, often boring and self-absorbed.  There are a few middle aged [sic] divorced guys who leer, ogle and stare too.”  Not to be outdone, Yelper Emily C. of Alexandria offered her own strong negative opinion:  “Steer clear of this terribly bland, slow-moving, dank and musty neighborhood joint.  I have given this place 3 tries now and it gets worse every time.  Don’t let your friends tell you the burger [sic] are good.  They are not.  Not even at half price---not even for free.”

Gossip proliferates as to what might replace the former Village Wharf.  “Folks in Hollin Hills were circulating a rumor that a Trader Joe’s would open there, but the folks at the Old Town store told me that was categorically untrue.  Darn it,” said Paige Totaro.  I also inquired of some of the current tenants in the shopping center to see what, if anything, they had heard.  Lisa of Hollin Hall Pastry Shop said, “I haven’t heard anything.  I do know there is construction going on.”  Doug of The Variety Store offered more insight by adding, “I talked to the landlord the other day and he said he’s planning on putting a family restaurant in there again.”  Doug also referred me to Doug McPherson, president (aka the aforementioned landlord) of Hollin Hall, LLC who I put a call into but did not hear back from before my deadline.

Suggestions abound as to what locals would like to see in Village Wharf’s old place.  In a recent online query of local friends and residents, the following ideas surfaced:

Leigh Mang:  A place where we could grab coffee, lunches, dinner and have Girls Nights!  Not sure it can be done?  Or a Chik-Fil-A!

Tracy Nordin:  A sit down restaurant.   Nothing fancy.

Sara Shiflette:  Neighborhood pub-short menu with food that is difficult to screw up, maybe a couple of pool tables, jukebox.

Kathy Callahan:  Book store.

Laura Quilty:  A trattoria or bistro-fondue, crepes.

Yelper Emily C.:  This location could be so rad.  Some pool tables, shuffleboard and some flat screens would change this into a younger hipper place.  It needs a menu overhaul, a new manager and an interior decorator.

If/when Mr. McPherson returns my call, I will be sure to pass these suggestions along.   Until then, let the rumor mill continue to churn…