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Health & Fitness

On Getting Help From Friends

How my husband's disability is (attempting to) kill my pride, and teaching me it's okay to accept help from friends.

I've been meaning to post this for, I don't know, weeks.

I don't know about you, but I have a bit of a problem asking for help.
Actually, a big problem.
I hate it.
Which is funny, because I love to help other people, and I don't think it's pitiful or needy when someone else needs a helping hand, but my prideful self absolutely DETESTS needing anything.

I also hate it when my husband needs anything. And I mean anything.
And this is a bit problematic, because, well, he's a quadriplegic.
I forget that, all the time! Oops.
It's so bad... my hatred of help... even to the point that I get mad at him if he asks for help. I'm ridiculous, I know.

But, I'm working on it, okay?

Recently, a big victory, and a small one. Both of which I'm going to share with you now.

First, the BIG victory.
I went out of town, for one night only, to New York.
Our friends, Danny and Nassika, had invited us over for dinner.
But, since I had the work trip, I couldn't go.
My first thought was - oh, we can reschedule.

Then, something remarkable happened!
The far fetched thought that Mr. Wonderful could go by himself! What, he can leave the apartment by himself??? Amazing, right?
I'm horrible.

It was so great. While I was in New York, realizing I had forgotten my pants, and interviewing Donald Trump, the Mr. was here, having fun (and an excellent meal) with good friends.

They were kind enough to pick Michael up, take him back home, and help him get into bed that night.

Admitting we could use this help was a good thing because it gives that friendship room to grow, and that's where the real good stuff is.
I'm so thankful for good friends.

The small victory was this -- Ah, yes, a whole pile of tied ties.
My friend and co-worker John, who ties the best of ties, tied each and every single one (and some bonuses!) of Michael's ties. So I don't have to next time he wears one.
Trust me.
This is good for our marriage.
Because one of us gives annoying instructions and the other one does not particularly enjoy following directions.

Funny - as I write this, I'm struggling with this same issue again. I'm heading out of town for another work trip tomorrow. These friends will be helping Michael again. And while I am incredible grateful for their friendship and their help, I still hate it. Just a little bit.

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