Like it did for so many, the news of Osama bin Laden brought about a mixture of emotions for me. I woke on Monday morning to a host of Facebook statuses that made me think about where my heart rested with this announcement. I was overwhelmed by the memories of 9/11, of my scared students in lockdown, of the stories of those whose loss was incredibly raw, and of a sense of a united nation that lit candles on its porches and blared American music from its stereos. I wanted so badly to join those parties cheering about the death of this horrible man, to celebrate this great victory, to throw up my middle finger and say "&^#$ this, Osama!"
This is when I really dislike Jesus. A man, who on the cross, in the ultimate of betrayals, cries out, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." Not a message of vengeance, but one of forgiveness. It brings tears to my eyes to think of the hate stored up in the hearts of Americans. We've had 10 years to forgive this man, and instead we have held onto our hate like a badge of honor. This hate has not made us holier or more righteous - it has separated us from God.
You see, the God I worship, the one to whom I devote my life, whose resurrection I celebrated just last week, is greater than a false sense of justice being found in the death of Osama bin Laden. Wouldn't it be cozy to think that God loves everyone, but smiled just a little bit when our military busted in and shot Osama in the head? That God would be very popular in our world. But the Good News is that He is so much greater. Because a God who can forgive a man like Osama is a God I want to worship. Because a God who can love a man who lived a life of hate is a God to whom I want to devote my life. Because a God who died for a terrorist is a God whose love I can't help but fall to my knees and look at in awe.
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Today I wish I could blare the trumpets and rejoice in the murder of this terrible man, but instead, I am inside doing the hard work of forgiveness. And it sucks. But, I do this because I know there is no place for hate in the hearts of those whom God has claimed. I do this because I know the only true peace and wholeness comes from Christ, and not from vengeance. I do this because the hate in my heart doesn't stick it to Osama, it is a cancer that eats at my soul. I do this because God has seen the ugly depths of my soul, and has forgiven me just the same. I cannot do otherwise.