Local Expert Serves Up Holiday Etiquette on 'Re-Gifting,' More

Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house... or an office party... or a holiday gala... we go. But just how do we behave when we get there?

Jennifer Ricciardi, founder and director of in Burke since 2006, is offering advice on holiday etiquette at the request of Patch. 

Her clients’ top question this time of year? “We've been invited to someone's home for dinner, what is an appropriate hostess gift?” Well don’t show up empty handed. Ricciardi recommends giving stationery, fancy bathroom soaps or salts -- or cookie cutters or ornaments for Christmas; candles for Hanukkah.

She also hears often from families preparing for visitors or guests, adults who want to polish their professionalism for the new year and engaged couples who are getting ready for first holiday gatherings with relatives or future in-laws.

Patch quizzed Ricciardi on our readers’ behalf:

If I am attending a holiday party hosted by my office, and a co-worker becomes obnoxiously intoxicated, what should I do?

“If they are spending a little too much time with you, walk them over to meet some other people and then politely excuse yourself,” said Ricciardi.

Is the response the same if the drunk person in question is my boss?

“My response is the same.  Tell them that you value their time and that you know they want to get around the room to visit with everyone.”

What are some “dos and don’ts” for office holiday parties?

“You can drink as little as is polite and still have a good time,” she said. “That way you won’t do anything you'll regret. Work the room, get around and visit for a few moments with as many people as possible.  Follow up after the party with anything that you said you'd look into. Remember it is still a business affair.”

What is your opinion on “regifting”?

“There's nothing wrong with regifting something that you won't use,” Ricciardi advised. “Change the wrapping, regift it to someone outside of the friendship circle from which it came, check the condition of the item to make sure it is worthy of regifting, and do try to have some sense of how the other person will feel when they receive it.” Ricciardi says the only pitfalls are making a mistake and giving it to someone who already may have seen it, or who had gone shopping with the person who originally bought it. Do not regift items that are in poor taste or offensive.

Is it appropriate to return a gift to the store for cash or exchange if you received it from someone special, or is it not worth risking hurt feelings?

Ricciardi reminds us that often gifts come with a receipt for exchange. If there is any chance that the giver will be expecting to see the gift in your home or office, then do not exchange.

Thank you notes?

The etiquette expert says you don't have to send thank you notes for holiday cards sent to you, but you should send a holiday card in return within the holiday season. You only send thank you notes for gifts or special things that someone has done for you (dinner, favors, etc.).

Should you tip your regular mail carrier and if so, what is appropriate?

Ricciardi says mail carriers are not allowed to receive cash or checks as tips.  They can receive other Christmas gifts as long as the gift is not valued at more than $20.

“Etiquette is all about making other people feel comfortable by the way we behave,” she summed up. “The best holiday manners are those where you think about how you will make others have a happy holiday season.”

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