Seasonal & Holidays
Blood And Gore That Make Kids Cry Test Halloween Etiquette: Block Talk
Readers say Halloween should be scary, but gore, traumatized kids, noisy props and giant skeletons that linger past Oct. 31 cross the line.
Grotesque decorations are having a big moment this Halloween season.
The shift toward hyper-realistic and intensely frightening Halloween yard displays has turned some quiet suburban streets into high-impact horror movie sets.
When do they become too scary or inappropriate for the neighborhood? Patch asked readers that question for its exclusive neighborhood etiquette column, Block Talk.
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Most respondents to our informal survey said Halloween is supposed to be scary and homeowners should decorate as they please.
“If you find it too scary or grotesque, don’t visit that house,” said a West Hartford (Connecticut) Patch reader who loves the Halloween season.
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“Put a sign up saying if it’s age-appropriate or not, and if it’s not, move on, people,” said Cruella, a Bristol (Pennsylvania) Patch AM reader. “Enjoy it! Have fun either way!”
A sizable minority of respondents said they draw the line at gore, realistic violence, skeleton hands that seem to reach from the grave and touch them, and displays frightening enough to upset young children.
“Disfigured or bloodied figures of children go too far,” said Brian, an Oak Forest (Illinois) Patch reader.
There were a few other recurring themes in readers’ responses. Know the audience, give families fair warning about especially intense displays, keep politics out of it, don’t make the neighborhood listen to your decorations, and, for the love of the more tender season that follows Halloween, take the giant skeleton down sometime before Thanksgiving.
Don’t Make Kids Cry
Advanced manufacturing and technology, adult horror fandom and social media culture, along with psychological desensitization, have turned up the fright level on Halloween decorations and displays.
“I am a lover of horror movies and books. But I do not enjoy being grabbed or touched by a Halloween prop or person in a costume,” said Across America Patch reader Wolf, who prefers old-fashioned decorations.
“It’s inconsiderate to have displays that literally make young children cry, as has happened in my building. Spooky is one thing; to inflict terror is quite another. Keep it festive, not a horror film,” said E., a New York City Patch reader.
“It should be a fun celebration for all but more so for the children,” E. continued. “Keep the grotesque inside for private events, not in public displays.”
What’s On Their Hard Drive?
Woodbury (Minnesota) Patch reader Junie thinks there’s something off about turning the front yard into a horror set, then inviting little kids to walk straight through it for a fun-size Snickers.
“If you are decorating in hopes of luring young trick-or-treaters to your front door, let’s try not to give them PTSD,” Junie said. “If grotesque Halloween displays really tickle your fancy and you still want to participate, a table with candy at the end of your driveway for younger children is probably a smart bet.”
Junie doesn’t think making the house an unforgettable stop for trick-or-treaters is the point of such displays. And she also
“In my experience, people with these over-the-top displays are doing it to one-up others on social media, and it’s less about the trick-or-treating event,” she said. “You can do whatever you want with your own yard (unless you have an HOA that says otherwise), but if your front yard looks like a realistic horror scene, your neighbors are going to wonder what your hard drive looks like.”
‘Talk About Inappropriate’
Oak Lawn (Illinois) Patch Laurey thinks Halloween “should be more fantasy than gross and bloody.”
“As a preschool teacher, I feel that people are trying to outdo each other on gross, scary displays and have taken some of the fun out of Halloween,” she said.
The Mad Hatter, a Montgomeryville-Lansdale (Pennsylvania) Patch reader, doesn’t faint at extreme fright decorations and, in fact, claims to love them. The homeowners owe it to the neighborhood to post a sign noting the high fright level so trick-or-treaters can skip them, the reader said.
“Parents have to take those younger children home afterwards and say nighty-night. It can be traumatizing,” The Mad Hatter said. “Do you want to really ruin Halloween forever for some kids?”
“Not only are they too macabre, but they are also so elaborate that one local homeowner doesn’t even bother to take them down. Instead, he redecorated a giant skeleton for Christmas. Talk about inappropriate,” said Joe, a Stratford (Connecticut) Patch reader.
‘Enjoy Being Frightened’
New Lenox (Illinois) Patch reader 12-Foot Skelly said there’s no such thing as displays that are too scary for young trick-or-treaters.
“Kids don’t understand why they should be afraid and end up loving the scary decorations,” the reader said.
“People should decorate their homes however they want,” said Bridgewater (New Jersey) Patch reader Kate. “If you can’t handle a decoration, deep-seated issues need to be addressed.”
“They can build it as scary as they want. Not everyone has to enjoy it,” said Matawan-Aberdeen (New Jersey) Patch reader Ferdinand, adding that far scarier is the prospect of “not enough candy.”
“Halloween is, after all, about scary monsters, creepy things, and letting yourself enjoy being a little frightened,” said Escarleth The Halloween Queen, who reads Danbury Patch and Brookfield Patch, both in Connecticut.
“I completely understand that very young children can get scared, but I think a lot of it comes down to how parents introduce these things to their children,” she said. “If you teach them from an early age that some things may look scary but aren’t real, they can learn to understand the difference between fantasy and reality.”
Escarleth said her 5-year-old grandson “absolutely loves” scary Halloween displays.
“I’ve taught him from a very young age that the monsters and creepy decorations aren’t real, and because I put up Halloween displays myself, he gets so excited to see them,” she said. “I think every child is different, but if children are never exposed to anything scary, it’s understandable that seeing it for the first time might frighten them. Sometimes it’s about teaching them, reassuring them, and letting them experience it at their own comfort level rather than simply shielding them from it.”
For Escarleth, the elaborate display is less about scaring children than delighting them. Seeing trick-or-treaters get excited and return year after year makes the effort worthwhile, she said.
‘I Hide In The Dark’
Across America Patch reader Ellenmelon said Halloween decorations breach neighborhood etiquette when the sounds they emit can be heard from inside her home.
“Other than that, I don’t care,” she said.
Ellenmelon generally ignores Halloween.
“I shut off my lights and hide in the dark,” she said. “I live in a split-level home with pets. Stairs and scared pets are not for me.”
Survey respondents revealed nostalgia and concern that traditional door-to-door trick-or-treating is fading.
“I’ve seen a lack of participation in Halloween over the years, so I’ll take as many decorations as I can get,” said Madison (Connecticut) Patch reader Sean.
He said events such as trunk-or-treat have ruined the novelty of Halloween for many children.
“After having years of packed neighborhoods and kids running amok, my family has been left with a reduced number of trick-or-treaters each year,” Sean said.
In 2024, only one kid under the age of 5 visited. Last year, the doorbell didn’t ring a single time, Sean said.
Joliet (Illinois) Patch reader Anna yearns for something to send chills down her spine.
“My neighborhood doesn’t do anything. We don’t get trick-or-treaters,” Anna said. “We go to the next neighborhood for all the displays.”
About Block Talk
Block Talk is an exclusive Patch series on neighborhood etiquette — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “Block Talk” as the subject line.
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