Prepare to Spend Time in Limbo

Sooner or later, we will all spend time in limbo. Limbo is that uncomfortable state between two at-home environments, one past and one future. It is an indefinable period before learning the truth about something or someone which matters much to you. We want to go back to what was, but cannot. We do not know what tomorrow will bring, or what the “new normal” will be like, or how long it will take to reach and feel at home once again.

You enter into limbo when you do not know the outcome of something beyond your control, something which really matters. It is like waiting for the medical report for you or a loved one. Will the end be recovery or death? If recovery, what will be the extent and the circumstances?

Other things put you into limbo, such as whether you will get to go back to work or school, or be able resolve issues in a relationship.

The more significant the outcome for you, and the less control you have over it, the greater the stress, and the seemingly longer the wait. For the ancients, limbo was the narrow abode between heaven and hell, a temporary holding space before you finally went one place or the other. For those who have been in limbo, the image of dangling between heaven and hell is emotionally accurate.

Most persons in limbo pray a lot, whether they had been believers before. As there are no atheists in foxholes, there are few atheists in limbo. We will pray to an unknown God if that might help. The value of faith to sustain us through limbo is inestimable.

I recently told someone in a vexing state of limbo neither to raise nor squelch his hopes. If he placed his hopes on the wrong outcome, it would be more difficult to get past his disappointment. Yet if he abandoned hope, he would in effect close the door on what good might still come.

Things to do when you are in limbo:

Beware the ghosts of the “could be’s” and the “what if’s.” Stay in the present; don’t let possible negative outcomes become probable ones. If you begin to react as if something dreaded were about to be true, you could set in motion the things which might bring it about.

Depend on those relationships you can depend on. This is a time for close family members and friends. Put aside pride, and ask for support. Now is not a time to be a lone ranger, or a lonely one. There’s power in sharing.

Go back to the basics. Simplify your life as much as possible; put things that can wait on the back burner. Let go of as much responsibility as you can, so you can harness all available strength on getting through your limbo.

Reconnect with your sources of strength. Increase your faith. Find activities which produce rather than deplete energy. Recall past good times; trust that there will be more.

Find something to laugh about every day. Humor will lift your burdens, even for a time. Humor heals and improves your outlook on life.

Put possible outcomes in proper perspective. If it is a job, it won’t be the final one. If it is a relationship, there will be others. If it is your health, you still have today to embrace life’s beauty and enjoy the gift of days.

Remember that as with everything else in life, this too will pass.