What To Do About Guests Who Always Treat Dinner Time Like A Suggestion [The Question]

Every family or friend group seems to have at least one person whose arrival time is more of a rough estimate than a commitment. Tell them dinner is at 6, and they may pull into the driveway at 6:45, cheerful and entirely untroubled.

The workaround is often to invite them 30 minutes or an hour earlier than everyone else and pin down exactly when dinner will be served so they know what time counts.

But is this really the best way to handle their time blindness?

If guests can’t be respectful enough to show up on time, should you stop inviting them? Should you say something about it? Or do you just accept their tardiness and stop stressing about it?

Guests who arrive too early can be as rude as those who arrive late. When a social gathering is at a public place, it’s customary for guests to arrive a few minutes early. At a restaurant party, arriving 15 minutes early may still inconvenience the host or venue.

At private events in people’s homes — say a dinner party, book club meeting or some other social gathering — do the same etiquette guidelines apply? Is it OK to show up early and, if so, what’s too early?

We’re asking for The Question, an exclusive Patch column on etiquette, everyday ethics and what to do when the rules aren’t quite as clear as everyone pretends they are. Just fill out the survey below. As always, we don’t collect email addresses.

About The Question

The Question is an exclusive Patch column on etiquette, everyday ethics and what to do when the rules aren’t quite as clear as everyone pretends they are — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “The Question” as the subject line.

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